It’s crazy to think about, but it’s been two years since I started this incredible journey. Two years since my childhood dreams started coming true and doors started opening. Even now when I think back to how everything started and came about, I think, “This is totally a God thing.” All the things that could have gone wrong, or at least have been uncomfortable, how they all just fell perfectly into place… Only God can do things like that. Which is totally humbling and comforting. Because is what I do for a living really effecting the whole world, or is it so important? No it’s not. But God loves to answer prayer, He loves for us to know that He cares about the details and not just the big picture. He wants to bless us(when we’re obedient) In fact He loves too. (Now this does not mean your life is going to be easy- not at all- No where in the Bible does it say you are going to get everything you want. The Bible actually tells us that the world is going to be hard and that they are going to hate believers “but take courage I have overcome the world”) You read these promises in the Bible but when you see them… It’s AMAZING!!
Anyway I thought I would take this opportunity of reflection to go over a few things I would say to myself two years ago…
Start small, you’ll get there…
When I first started I think the only things I could handle was making breakfast and making sure the children didn’t die. After two years my responsibilities have grown to handle buying all the kids clothes, handling all they’re after school activities and a bunch, a bunch of other stuff. But these extra responsibilities were things that had to grow naturally. So my advice to young beginner me would be, “start small. Get good at the things you are in charge of now and then the rest will come… because it will come.” You’ll wonder what you did your first days.
Don’t take things so personally…
Not every cirque is a personal jab at you as a person. I have come to realize I internalize most everything. So if my boss finds fault in something I worked the whole day on, or doesn’t like an idea for the kids I thought was awesome. Or if I misheard an instruction, or something I helped plan didn’t work, I take that failure personally. I use it as mark of my skill and intelligence and when it’s negative I let that churn inside me. Either where I become angry and silently fume(which is not a good response as it breeds animosity) or I feel like a totally failure. None of this is a healthy way to approach work stress. Which leads me to my next point…
Speak up for yourself…
Sometimes I am held responsible for the outcome of events that aren’t my fault, whether because of poor communication or pure innocence of any involvement. My bosses are human and since I am standing in front of them, they can throw a lot of their stress and frustration on me. This isn’t fair and it isn’t right, but nine times out ten it really has nothing to do with me. (Thankfully this does not happen all the time, but like I said my bosses are human and have bad days) When I first started here I wouldn’t respond. I would just internalize it and then go find some hidden corner and cry like a baby. My Mom kept pushing me to stand up for myself and confront them, when I was blamed for things that weren’t my fault. The first time I did was terrifying and I cried like a baby(so embarrassing) And do you know what? My boss hadn’t even realized what she’d done and she was so sorry. She told me how her day had been awful and she hadn’t realized she was taking it out on me. She asked me to forgive her and I did and the situation was resolved and not left to fester a wedge between us.
*Now this didn’t make the next time I had to speak up necessarily easier, but I did do it sooner. Wanting the situation dealt with quickly as opposed to stewing in it. Also there are sometimes when you just need to let things slide. If you’re really not to blame for a situation it will come out eventually. And if not the Lord knows and you should be working for Him anyway.
It’s not all on you…
I came face to face with this point last week and even while it was happening I realized that this is the same exact situation I was writing about in my post. I had work five 12-hour days in a row and was to the point of mental exhaustion, when my boss told me I was needed to cover two or three hours on my day off. I realized there was no way to refuse, however I did want my boss to know that I was tired and I didn’t want to cover it, but I would since there didn’t seem to be an other option. I almost cried over the thought of working those two small hours and if she had asked me at any other time I wouldn’t have balked. Being a live-in is being flexible. That being said you do need to realize that you’re a human and sometimes you just get tired and need to rest. This is when you stand up for yourself and you be honest and be honest with yourself that it’s not all on you. You don’t have to fix every situation, or cover every hour. Refuse if you can, if you can’t go with it but tell them how you are feeling. Don’t just be a doormat. Thankfully my bosses were able to cover the two hours themselves(taking pity on me) and I now feel more human after two days completely off.
Enjoy every second, life goes by fast…
The last bit of wisdom I would pass on to myself; would be to enjoy every minute, because life goes by so fast. Babies become toddlers, toddlers become little boys, little boys become teenagers, colleagues become friends, bosses become mentors and a five year plan becomes a two year plan(more on my long term goals later) Seconds tick by, minutes fly and hours zoom past. Days become weeks and years and lifetime. It’s crazy but it’s true.
What’s some advice you would give to your younger self? Or some things you have learned through the years? Please leave any comments below and don’t forget to subscribe and follow the social media links.
Lots of love,
Tally
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